


Inside A Grievance-Ridden Mind

by InjaMorgan



Series: The Pain of Victory [3]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Dís is a BAMF, F/M, Gen, I also finally used those eagles like Tolkien always forgot, I'll probably make you cry with this one, more book!Verse than movie!Verse, no-one survives in this one, past BoFA, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-12
Updated: 2013-07-12
Packaged: 2017-12-19 05:16:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/879873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InjaMorgan/pseuds/InjaMorgan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the BoFA: With Thorin, Fíli and Kíli all dead, Dís has lost the last remains of her family and is now alone. But that doesn't mean that she will just turn away from the world and wallow in self-pity, no, she's a fighter, and she'll fight for the things she believes in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Inside A Grievance-Ridden Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Salvia_G](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salvia_G/gifts), [Blue_Sparkle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Sparkle/gifts).



> So, this is a re-post. I already published this, the first chapter, earlier in the year, but back then most of the fandom barely knew anything about Dís. However, now I have the feeling that more of you are interested in her part of the story, so please, do read on and maybe even tell me if you liked it.
> 
> And, as always, don't expect quick updates. Thanks go to [Blue_Sparkle](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Sparkle/pseuds/Blue_Sparkle) for her beautiful FanArt that you can find at the end of the chapter, and this time also very much [Salvia_G](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Salvia_G/pseuds/Salvia_G), because she basically convinced me that this story wasn't just utter shite. I also owe her a bunch of emails and I still need to read her _A Little Wounded_ that I was supposed to beta but then ... ah, well, that's a completely different story.

In the days of dread and sorrow after the battle at the base of the Lonely Mountain, it happened that one of the Eagles had the grace to take a messenger on his back and carry him to the Dwarven settlements in the Ered Luin, as there was much to tell about the fight against Smaug and the victory the had won with great cost. This, then, was how Dís, sister to Thorin, heard word of her brother's death in battle, and that her sons had likewise perished while defending their uncle.

Her husband's sisters held her as she cried out in rage and shook her fist, but the anger quickly subsided, and powerless she sank to the floor and wept for her fallen brother and sons. It was not the first time she had cried for a lost brother, for Frerin had died at Moria, but now she was truly the last of her family, only distant cousins remaining. Her friends tried to calm her with soothing words about meeting them again in the great Halls of Waiting, but nothing could dry Dís' tears until she heard of the Eagle's plan to leave in the early hours of the next morning and an idea was born in her chest. She feigned falling asleep, and when all others had left, she crept to the place close to the doors where the other Dwarves had built a makeshift nest for the Eagle.

“Eagle,” she whispered, and only faltered for a moment as the large bird opened its sharp eyes. “Oh Master Eagle, you do not know me, but the messenger you carried on your back brought news of my brother's and sons' death, Thorin Oakenshield and young Kíli and Fíli. He also told me that many of your brothers fought with them together, so you may have seen them in the battle.”

“I saw them fight and fall, Lady Dwarrodam, and they were brave as they defended their kingdom. But surely you do not desire to hear the same story that your kinsman told you mere hours ago.”

“No, Master Eagle,” Dís shook her head. “But I wanted to ask for your kindness in these dark hours. My brother and my sons were the last of my family left, and now they are buried under the Lonely Mountain, thousands of miles away from this place. I want to see their graves and lay flowers and gifts on them as traditional with my people, but I am not as young as I once was when the journey from the Blue Mountains to Erebor was considered a holiday. I fear I will either not survive the endeavour or I will reach their tombs when their images will already have grown beards of moss!” Fresh tears welled up at the thought of her dear sons lying under cold stone and earth, but she continued speaking nevertheless. “I know you want to return home to your eyrie in the Misty Mountains, and I do not ask for more than to cross Eriador on your back. I am sure I can make the journey from there on alone.”

The Eagle looked at Dís for a very long while, his head and eyes barely moving. Dís stared back, still with tears running down her cheeks.

“Please. I beg you, Master Eagle. Surely you know the pain of losing a hatchling before it even grew its proper feathers, do you not?” she pled, and then finally Dís lowered her head. Another moment passed before she heard the bird in front of her move, its large feathers rustling.

“Lady Dwarrodam, I hear your words, and as Iorihir, cousin to the Lord of the Eagles, I give you my word to take you with me to our eyries in the mountains. There we shall have a council to determine if one of us will take you to Erebor, and if what you say is true and just.”

And thus Dís was the first Dwarrowdam to fly on an Eagle’s back, only with a warm cloak wrapped around her and a small bag containing only the barest essentials, including by some bread, cheese and a waterskin. It took them from the first light of dawn until the moment the sun touched the ground again in the West to cross the wide lands of Eriador, and even though Iorihir took a short break around noon he seemed to be very tired when they reached the mountains. The moment Dís had solid earth under her feet once again she thanked the Eagle effusively before she was escorted to plead her case before the Lord of the Eagles.

The Great Eagle, his new metal crown of gold shining in the light of the torches around the Great Shelf, listened closely to her tale, which was the same she had told Iorihir; but with many more and carefully chosen words. Finally she lowered her head to hide the tears that had once again found their way into her eyes.

“Your request is noble, and we understand your pain in losing them, but I do not think any of us could make the journey to Erebor without risking harm. We are mourning several of our brothers as well, and returned only days ago. Stay here for the night and then travel the rest of the way alone, or wait for seven days and you may ask me again.” For even if the generosity of Dáin, the new King Under the Mountain, had softened the eagles’ hearts, they were still selfish beings that cared for their own well-being more than for the happiness or welfare of others.

In the end, Dís agreed to stay for a single night and then to make her way into the plains, not sure if she should take the Old Forest Road or the detour around the Mirkwood in the North instead. She surely had reckoned on the Eagles’ help; but now she had no weapons, no escort to protect her, and still a many days journey ahead of her. That night, Dís slept fitfully and dreamt of her dead family, looking upon her as if she had failed their last test, only to be awoken by a beak pecking into her side.

“Little Lady?” a light voice asked her. “Little Dwarrodam, are you awake?”

“Yes, now I am.” Dís opened her eyes to see a young, slender Eagle, with a circle of white feathers around her head like a small coronet, one that Dís had already observed when she had told the Lord of the Eagles her story; but the Eagle with the unusual feather pattern had only lurked in the background like it was not allowed on the Great Shelf.

“I'm Nawhir, daughter of Gwaihir,” the Eagle introduced herself, and Dís was slightly surprised to meet one of the female birds. “I'm actually not allowed to be so close to you, but I heard about your request to my father and I just...” At this point, the Eagle nervously pecked at the plumage of her breast. “I wasn't allowed to come with the others as I'm too young, but I lost my older brother in the fight, so I know how it feels to mourn a loved one from a great distance.” Again Nawhir seemed to be distracted by an unruly feather, this time in her left wing, and after she had stretched her wings she looked straight at Dís and spoke again.

“But if you still desire to travel so, I'm willing to carry you to Erebor.”

Dís was utterly stunned, but then remembered her manners.

“Lady Nawhir, I do not want to seem ungrateful, but if your father didn't allow you to fight with your brothers, does this not mean that–”

“I am old enough to have chicks, Dwarrowdam!” Nawhir suddenly screeched, and Dís was afraid that the furious yell would wake the whole colony; but the Eagle quickly calmed down after she had flapped her wings several times.  
“It's merely my father's policy that all the females have to stay behind so the eggs and hatchlings are protected, even though we can fight and fly just as artfully as the males, and not all of us are needed to watch the eyries,” Nawhir explained, and Dís smiled.

“Then we are truly kindred souls, because my brother was just the same. Never was I allowed to come with them, and now look what has happened to them!” Again the tears threatened to claim Dìs' throat and eyes, but Nawhir saw it and leaned the tip of her beak against Dís' forehead.

“Little Lady, it may hurt now but the memories of them are the most valuable possessions you'll ever own,” she said calmly.

“I know it,” Dís responded, wiping away her tears, which Nawhir took to mean that the Dwarrowdam was fine now.

“However, if we still want to leave, we need to do so now. I am … not allowed to do such things without my father's approval.”

Dís could not stop herself and gave a laugh. “I thought so. But can you fly at night?”

“Sister, look at the sky. Right now there are still clouds darkening the firmament, but only a few minutes more and we'll have an almost full moon and the stars to guide us. I don't need more; I am an Eagle after all!” Again, Nawhir spread her wings wide, and indeed, there were only a handful of dark patches in the night sky now.

This was enough to convince Dís, and she quickly packed the few belongings she had brought with her (adding one or two of the mutton pieces the Eagles had had for dinner), and then she again clung to the feathers of an Eagle's back for the second time in as many days. Strangely, it felt different from the day she had spent on Iorihir; maybe because this time it was night, or because Nawhir flew far higher, Dís didn't know. And truly, first it was only the weak light of the stars illuminating their way, but then suddenly the moon emerged behind a rather thick cloud, and the world under Dís was bathed in gentle, silver light. A warm wind was blowing from the mountains that Nawhir knew how to use to make their flight even faster, and as the sun rose they were already flying over the western parts of Mirkwood.

“Sister, our destination lies right before us!” Nawhir screeched, and indeed, the sun was illuminating the lonely peak of Erebor, Dís' old home that she had not seen in seventeen decades, and it made her heart jump, but at the same time she felt very sad. It was her home, yet it was also the place where her brother and sons had lost their lives.

“Nawhir, don't you need to rest?” Dís asked, but the Eagle laughed and it sounded like a bell echoing in the gorges of the Misty Mountains.

“No, Dwarf-Sister. Once I see my goal, I can't rest until I've reached it!” And with those words, Nawhir quickened her flight even more, and Dís had trouble not falling off the Eagle's back. The trees under them blurred into a green ocean , and the day was barely three hours old when Nawhir flew across The Long Lake.

And this was how Dís reached Erebor; on an Eagle's back in the early hours of the sixth day after Thorin had fallen in the Battle of Five Armies. The dwarves were clearly surprised to see her and Nawhir, but nevertheless greeted her with the warmth and friendliness of the tribes from the Iron Hills. The guards on the Front Gate offered to escort her into the depths of the mountain, but not before Dís had made them find food and shelter for Nawhir.

“I am going to miss you, Little Lady,” the Eagle said as a farewell. “I hope you'll find what you are searching for, even if there are no ointments to heal your soul. Mourn your family, and remember me with kindness.”

“Nawhir, I will always be in your debt.” Dís bowed deep, and the Eagle likewise lowered her head. “I shall tell my cousins to give you a coronet of gold to match your father's, for you are truly worth all the gold and silver I own. May the wind under your wings bear you where the sun sails and the moon walks!” Nawhir stretched her wings in answer, and Dís turned to follow the other Dwarves into the mountain.


End file.
